Tonight I’ve been beating myself up about the past–lost opportunities, changes I should have made, but didn’t because I was stubborn, didn’t see any other feasible alternatives, afraid of what going after feasible alternatives would mean, or afraid of what other people would think or say.
It’s an old story, so old the pages are brown and tattered. I am tired of it.
Tonight I give it to You. I give all of what I could have done, should have done to You. I can’t handle the past. I can’t do anything about it. I will literally go crazy if I think more about it. So I give it to you. Whatever You can do with it, it’s Yours.
I should be afraid to give it to You, because You are the Righteous Judge. You see the motives of my heart. You see what lies behind those lost opportunities. But I lay it in Your blood-stained hands anyway. Strangely, once I do, I feel safe.