Category Archives: Life Lessons

April 15, 2022 · 10:18 pm

Friday “Walks”–Showing Honor or Dishonor to God by the Way I Treat My Body

Photo Credit: P. Booher

One night I was writing a post for this blog. I wanted to get it done, so I could post it that night, and meet my self-imposed deadline. The piece took longer to write than I figured it would. To add to that, I thought of some reference material to add. Weariness was settling in my bones and my eyes were feeling the effects of time on the computer, despite the blue-light filters in place. Finally I did the only sane thing to do—shut down the computer and go to bed.

It occurred to me that I honor God when I take care of my body, even in details like calling it quits for the night, instead of pushing through to completion. I honor God when I respect the body He gave me and use wisdom in how I do my activities.

I dishonor God with my body when I take foolish chances—like the day I crossed the road to retrieve a garbage can lid which blew half-way down the road. Coming back, instead of walking up the road farther to see oncoming traffic better before I crossed, I stepped out at a point where I had trouble seeing traffic—and faced a car coming up the hill. Thankfully, God chose to keep me from the consequences of my behavior. When I got into my yard, the Lord spoke in my mind, “I love you. You are worthy to Me. Don’t do that again.”

Every day, I have a choice whether to honor or dishonor God in the way I treat my body. Will I use wisdom, or will I act in foolish ways??

A few Scriptures to consider: Psalm 139:13, Psalm 103:13, I Corinthians 6:18-20

©P. Booher

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April 4, 2022 · 10:57 pm

The Human Cost of Drawing Conclusions from Watching the News

During the Vietnam War, the evening tv news played a huge part in how people thought about the war and the soldiers fighting in the war. Coverage of atrocities such as the My Lai Massacre affected the way veterans were treated when they came home. Many were spat upon, and called names. Most veterans did not participate in such horrible events, but they were treated as though they did.

A few years ago, a man who had served in the war came through my register line. He had a “Vietnam War Veteran” hat on. I thanked him for his service. He told me when he came home from the war, people didn’t thank him for his service. Instead, they asked him how many babies he killed, how many women he killed, how many children he killed. The pain he still carried inside was evident in his voice when he said, “I didn’t kill any babies. I didn’t kill anybody. But that’s all people asked about.”

To me, this man’s heart-felt pain illustrates the danger we fall into when we stereotype people from watching the news media. We see events on the news in which a certain group of people are prominently featured, and we stamp everyone who belongs to that group—political parties, practitioners of faith beliefs, or whoever—as having the same beliefs, thoughts, and actions as the people in the news. But each person is an individual, and while a person may share most of the beliefs of the particular group, that doesn’t mean the person is in total agreement.

Consider this: when we open our mouths but have closed minds behind them, our words can hurt deeply, as my conversation with the veteran showed. Our words not only hurt the receiver, they hurt us, because we give up the chance to learn something or to extend grace, if not understanding.

Scriptures to consider: James 1:19, 20, Ephesians 4:29

©P. Booher

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March 21, 2022 · 8:00 am

What Didn’t Happen–A Different Kind of Blessing

I usually think of blessings as the kind I can see—the kind that happened. Recently I experienced the kind of blessings which are in the “what could have happened, but didn’t” category. This was during a stretch of time in which my mother went to the emergency room twice in a week, and my car went to the garage.

One day while driving up a long hill, the car started to jerk underneath. I thought, Is that the transmission or the gas feed? The only way it didn’t jerk was if I really gave it the gas or if it shifted. I didn’t drive it often until I could get the vehicle looked at, but one time I did drive it was to take my mother to the ER—then drive it home at night when the hospital kept my mother for observation, a round trip of about thirty miles, which included many hills. After taking it to a mechanic, I found out the car needed the transmission flushed.

The blessings contained in my “car drama” include:

  1. the car didn’t break down on the road (very important, especially when taking my mother of advanced age to the hospital, and when driving at night)
  2. no prolonged damage to the transmission
  3. no damage to the engine (what affects the transmission can easily affect the engine)
  4. people—a neighbor and then a relative—who when needed, were willing to help me out by taking me to the hospital to pick my mother up and by taking me to the service shop to pick up the car
  5. at first, the service shop couldn’t get the transmission lines to hold the fluid. Believe it or not, I emailed friends and requested prayer for that specific situation. Later on, believe it or not, the shop called and said the pressure was holding; the car was ready for pick up. I choose to believe prayer made the difference—why else would the situation change??

Other blessings were that my mother did not have any strokes. Instead, she had what is called “vasovagal episodes”, which were scary enough to me, but were not strokes. Another blessing is the caring and thoughtfulness shown by the nurses and staff at the hospital to both my mother and me. A visiting nurse came the other day and gave me tips on how to help my mother. She told me that if my mother has another episode like that, I can call any time and a visiting nurse will come, check my mother, do blood work, take it to the lab, and contact my mother’s doctor. We wouldn’t have to go to the ER. Finally, while sitting at home waiting for the call to pick up my car, I started counting the number of family and friends who would be willing to help me out with a ride. The number was higher than I thought; I have more support than first realized.  When I told that to my pastor’s wife, she remarked that was evidence God was standing by me in my troubles. “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5, Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

While I didn’t want these troubles to happen, I found out when they do, blessings show up right there in the midst of them. It isn’t all bad news. That’s important for me to remember.

©P. Booher

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February 16, 2022 · 10:03 pm

The Good and the Bad of Judgment

The word “judgment” often carries negative connotations, but being judged can be useful.

Consider a writer sitting in a critique group. The writer gives a piece to the members. Suppose the writer hears a comment such as, “Your main character is too bland for readers to care about. He needs to take a stand or risk something.” The member who made that comment is making a judgment, giving criticism with an eye to improvement. The writer may not like that comment, but wants the piece to be as good as possible before submitting it for possible publication, so the judgment is helpful.

Now think of someone who hears from a person who is an authority figure—whether parent, teacher, or boss—”You’re lazy. You’ll never get anywhere in this world.” Judgment is wielded in this instance as a put-down. No guidance is given for improvement. This example doesn’t even provide motivation for improvement. This is judgment gone bad. I would go so far as to say it’s cruel.

What’s the difference between the two? To me, it’s the motive behind the words. In the first example, the motive is a desire to help another see what can be improved. In the second, the motive is to make the authority figure feel better at the expense of the person being judged.

All this makes me wonder: what kind of judgments do I give? Are they helpful—the kind I want to receive? Or are they cruel—the kind that would make me cringe if I was on the receiving end?

©P. Booher

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December 24, 2021 · 2:09 pm

Gifts Anyone Can Give to Anybody, at Anytime

Photo by Amy T on Pexels.com

In the line of Sunday’s post, here, I am thinking about gifts you can give. These gifts don’t require money, don’t need wrapped, and can be given to anyone, anytime of the year. They do have a cost—gifts always do—these gifts require you to put your self on the back burner. What are these versatile, but costly, gifts?

  1. Patience. It’s especially needed this time of the year. It’s in short supply, and therefore is more needed and more valuable. It costs a person to be patient, rather than grumbling, being obnoxious, complaining about how slow the cashier is, and practically pushing people aside to get to the head of the line.
  2. Flexibility. Ok, you are doing last-minute shopping, you meant to get that special gift earlier, but circumstances beyond your control stepped in, and the special gift isn’t available online or in any store. What to do? Take a deep breath, and be flexible. Think of that in the broadest terms possible. Don’t think of it as a specific gift, look at it like this: what need or want did that gift fill? Can you get something else that will work? Flexibility is a gift you can give yourself as you give to others. To be flexible means I’m not demanding something be exactly the way I want it. If I can be flexible, I don’t get stressed out about a situation.
  3. Compassion. I am not talking about sending money to charities here, but rather being aware of a individual’s need and stepping in to do whatever you can to help. Maybe it is giving that person money, or a gift card for food, or buying a whole turkey dinner, taking it to the person, and helping them prepare it. Maybe it is sitting down with the person and taking time to listen with your whole heart—not planning what you want to say, not judging what he or she says—but just listening. Many people in various circumstances need the gift of compassion expressed as listening.
  4. Willingness to withhold judgment. This is hard for me. I tend to think I know everything about a person’s situation based on what it looks like on the surface. LOL! People are complex; life is complex; there’s a lot going on below, so it’s always best not to judge.
  5. A break. Yes, give yourself and others a break. Remember that whether or not you get everything done when you want it done, how you want it done, whether your family members get along or not—your value as a person does not depend on any of those things. Your value as a person does not depend on what other people say or think about you. Your value as a person depends solely on the fact that God loves you. In His eyes, you (and everybody else) have tremendous value. His view is the only one that ultimately matters. Think along His view, and you’ll have less stress, more joy, and be able to give the other “gifts” on the list easier.

Merry Christmas!

Happy New Year!

Scripture references: I Corinthians 13: 4,5, Romans 3: 23,24, John 3:16, Romans 5: 6-9, Philippians 4: 6-8

©P. Booher

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November 16, 2021 · 12:22 am

Clothes Don’t Make the Person–AKA–What Attitude Am I Wearing?

Several years ago I attended a few Christian women’s conventions. Sometimes I bought a T-shirt at the event–for some reason, I got the idea that was expected of Christians. I fell into the trap of thinking that because a person wears Christian-themed clothing, that makes the person a Christian.

But the clothes don’t make the person; it’s what inside that matters.

A couple years ago I was in a store waiting behind a customer. The man had a couple transactions to take care of, so I had time to read the back of the man’s T-shirt. (Yes, I do things like that while waiting in line; words draw my attention! 🙂 )  Various questions and Biblical answers pertaining to the gospel were printed on the shirt. It was certainly supposed to draw people to the Lord.

That’s why the words I overheard coming from the man were such a shock. He was obnoxious, belittling the cashier and asking if she could handle his transactions—or, should he do it? She politely assured him that she could do it. I cringed at his sarcasm; it was in such stark contrast to the message on his clothing. His attitude shouted louder than the message he thought he was getting across with his choice of clothing. To make the situation worse, he said to the cashier, “Here’s your spiritual dessert”—and handed her a tract. I almost gagged.

After the customer left, I spoke to the cashier about the incident. Not surprisingly, she remembered his rudeness far more than the words written on his shirt.

As you can see, that episode left a big impression on me. I look on it as an object lesson. How am I treating people?  Am I kind, or am I sarcastic, biting, rude? What’s my demeanor while I’m being waited on? Are cashiers and salespeople glad to see me, or are they glad to see me leave?  Do I reflect the love of Jesus Christ, or is something else showing? 

©P. Booher

“Love is patient, love is kind….It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.” Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church, I Corinthians 13:4a., 5. (NIV)

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November 1, 2021 · 10:32 pm

A Father’s Love

Some time ago while trying to park my car “exactly right” in my doctor’s lot, I heard the horrible crunch of metal on metal. I had backed into a pickup truck. The truck suffered a couple scratches on the side of the tailgate; my little car took the brunt of the damage with a smashed taillight, and severely dented side panel.

The truck driver came out of the doctor’s office; I told him what happened; and I reported the accident to my car insurance company. I was so upset, and I remember the insurance representative calming me down over the phone, saying, “You didn’t mean to do it. That’s why it’s called an accident.”

A couple weeks later I drove to work thinking about the accident and feeling low. Inwardly, I quivered at what my father would have said about it. First, it would have started with, “How could you be so careless?! Why didn’t you let the car stay where you had it?” From there on in, it would have been all downhill. Finally I prayed and asked God for His perspective, for His help, because I couldn’t stand how I was feeling any longer.

He quietly asked, “What criteria did you use in your thinking right before you started feeling “ashamed”, “stupid”, and of low self-worth?” I said, “Umm, I guess performance.”

He replied, “That’s not the way I value your worth in My Kingdom. The world values your worth by your performance, but if you want to be in MY Kingdom, you have to look at things the way I do. You have worth to Me because I love you; I created you, and My Son died for you. That’s where you get your worth. Performance is not a good way to value yourself. You will never be able to do everything perfectly in this world—there’s just too much. If you use how you do or don’t do things to measure your worth there will always be something that can cause your sense of self-worth to plummet. But if you value yourself as I value you, that will not be an issue.”

©P. Booher

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September 20, 2021 · 12:00 pm

Thoughts on Chronic Pain

Back in July, our area had a bout of rainy, humid weather. The weather aggravated my arthritis to the point that I spent some days on my back, with ice packs on various aching joints.

Since then, wanting to get a handle on chronic pain, I’ve come to some conclusions which I believe will help me deal with the self-pity which comes calling along with the pain. I offer them here for any one of the millions of people who live with chronic pain:

Chronic pain can’t keep God from loving me. It cannot and does not keep God from seeing me as a person of inestimable value.

Chronic pain cannot keep me from returning God’s love. It cannot keep me from finding ways to express that love. It may change the ways I do it; it cannot keep me from doing it.

Chronic pain cannot keep me from serving others; it may change the ways I do it; it cannot keep me from doing it.

 

Scripture passages to consider: Romans 5:1-8; Romans 8:35-39; Hebrews 13:5 (which quotes Deuteronomy 31:6)

©P. Booher

 

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December 23, 2020 · 9:06 pm

What Am I Focusing On?

Photo by Roxana Ioana Luca on Pexels.com

Today a picture flashed in my mind. It was similar to a dream, but I was wide-awake. In the picture I was standing on a hill, one high enough to gain altitude over everything else. I could see two different ways.
Those ways represented different attitudes in my life. Those attitudes produced different results.

In the first view I saw all the places I wanted to go and never went, the “good-paying” job I wanted, and never got, the experiences I used to envision myself having and never having them. When I looked that way I felt bitterness and a corrosive resentment boil up inside.

Then I turned to look at the second view. There I saw all the places I did go to (like Niagara Falls!); all the books and stories I’ve read; all the jobs I had, the relationships and what I learned on the jobs; all the experiences I’ve had, and what I gained from them. As I looked that way I felt rich. I had no reason to feel bitter or resentful.

The lesson from the picture in my mind is plain to me: my feelings depend on what I focus on. I can look one way and see what I didn’t get, or didn’t have, and be angry or in despair; I can look the other way and see what I got, and what I have, and be grateful and hopeful.

What am I focusing on?

What are you focusing on?

©P. Booher

Niagara Falls Photo Credit: Author

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December 2, 2020 · 4:35 pm

Nature Notes–A Lesson in Courage and Persistence

One day my dad and I were in his workshop when we heard birds squawking. Opening the outside door we saw several catbirds and robins flying back-and-forth from a tree. The object of their attention turned out to be a black snake winding its way up the tree. Given the birds’ angry cries and persistent activity, we deduced there was a bird’s nest somewhere among the branches.

At first the snake ignored the birds. But one by one the catbirds and robins took turns pecking at the snake’s vulnerable spot, the tail, which was dangling from the tree. Finally the snake gave up its quest and slithered down the other side of the tree in retreat.

I was amazed that this life-and-death adventure happened just a few feet away from us. On further thought, I was impressed by the courage and the united effort the birds displayed to get the snake away from the nest. I don’t know whether it was a robin’s nest or a catbird’s nest that was threatened. It didn’t matter to the birds; both kinds worked together to defend the nest. They knew what was important, and kept up the attack until they achieved the result they wanted.

For me, this serves as another object lesson from God: fight for what’s important, and keep at it until you are successful. Don’t give up; don’t give in.

To learn more about catbirds: www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Gray_Catbird.

To learn more about robins: www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Robin

For black snakes: www.todayshomeowner.com/dealing-with-black-snakes-around-your-home-or-garden

P. Booher

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