Category Archives: humor

The Abby Chronicles–Tidbits From Abby

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XXVII

  1. I provide a massage service to my humans—I knead them. This habit I picked up when I was a kitten at my mom’s side.
  2. The younger human says I have a “rumbly” purr. She says she likes my rumbly purr. 
  3. Sometimes the younger human calls me “Fluffy Tail” or “Fluff Tail”.  Other times, she calls me “Big A”. She greets me with “Hi, Big A!” Every now and then she calls me “Her Furriness”. I have no idea why she gives me nicknames—it’s a weird thing she does. (Have you ever noticed how many weird things humans do?)

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

                       ******************************************************************                        

This is the last issue of “The Abby Chronicles” I am posting.

Abby, our wonderful Companion Cat and the inspiration for “The Abby Chronicles” died. She had major problems and was going downhill. As I posted at “The Younger Human and I Fight!” she resisted vigorously as I gave her medicine or food through a syringe. She turned her head every which way. She batted the syringe out of my hand. Both of us got stressed out.

After consultation with the vet, I made the appointment no pet owner wants to make.

My heart feels as though it is breaking into a thousand pieces. Those who’ve let an animal into their hearts will understand; those who say, “Oh, come on! You’re being a bit too dramatic! It’s just a cat!” have never known the joy, fun, and yes, pain, of sharing their lives with a cat.

Abby brought so much joy and laughter into our lives, as when she chased her tail (rarely, catching it); when she pounced and swatted at her toy as one of us held it; when she used the litterbox and then came running out so fast you nearly got knocked over, as though she had to get away from the stinky thing that came out of her.

Abby gave our house an air of dignity, with the way she carried herself, fluffy tail held high.

Most of all, Abby was a great Companion Cat. Three weeks ago my mother had a tooth removed. As soon as my mother got settled on the recliner, Abby jumped up on her lap. She spent her time there or perched on the arm of the recliner. She sensed my mother needed comfort, and she gave comfort the best she could.

Abby was a beautiful, wonderful cat, and I miss her so much.

I hope you have enjoyed reading Abby’s views on living with humans.

©P. Booher

Photo Credit: S. Craig —— Abby

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The Abby Chronicles–The Humans Defrost the Refrigerator

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XXVI

One day I heard a lot of strange noises coming from the kitchen. Being a cat, I needed to investigate. I mean, that’s part of being a cat! I HAD to know!

So I strolled into the kitchen. A big brown box sat near my food and water dishes. The humans walked back and forth from the refrigerator to the big brown box, taking food out of the refrigerator and placing in the big brown box. I had to be careful they didn’t step on my nice fluffy tail or my paws. That would hurt—a lot! Meow!

The older human said the big brown box was an ice chest. She said they were taking care of the refrigerator. They were preparing to “defrost the refrigerator”. It was something they needed to do every now and then, she explained.

The humans frequently opened the little door above the main refrigerator. They did the strangest thing—they put pans in the top of the refrigerator, waited awhile, took the pans out, put water in them, and then put them back in. I watched the process awhile, then decided there was so much activity I better go back to the living room. 

I was glad to know the humans were “defrosting the refrigerator”—whatever that means—once my food is opened it’s kept in the refrigerator, so it’s nice to know they are taking care of the refrigerator! 

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

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The Abby Chronicles–The Younger Human and I Fight!

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XXV

The younger human and I have been fighting lately. You see, she gives me some sort of liquid in a little narrow tube she calls a “syringe”. At least, she tries to give me the liquid. I emphasize the word “tries” because I have claws, a few teeth, and am nimble and quick at moving my head. The younger human has no claws, teeth that don’t bite fur, and she is not really nimble and quick.

She says the liquid is for my own good, that it’s a medicine to help relieve pain. It tastes terrible. How can something that tastes terrible be for my own good??? Explain that, will you! I bet she never had to take any of that medicine!!!

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

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The Abby Chronicles–Creature Comforts

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XXIV

I told my secretary I wanted to post a piece today in celebration of International Cat Day. Yes, I know this is getting published late. However, I cannot fire my secretary because she also buys my food! Talk about job security!

Anyway, as a cat I enjoy certain creature comforts. In the interest of getting this posted while it is still August 8 (at least where I live), I will only write about two.

  1. Fans—my humans use fans to cool off. The fans are big and noisy. Most of the fans are on the floor, which, since I’m a cat, is to my advantage—and I love it! I enjoy laying on either the tile floor or on the carpet, particularly if I can get situated between two fans. The air goes over and through my fur. Pure bliss! Meow! Meow!
  2. Shoes—I enjoy laying on shoes or boots. Don’t ask me why. I just do. I am a cat; it’s my privilege to like certain things humans think strange. Believe me, humans like things which are strange to me! I got a treat awhile ago. The younger human brought home a pair of slippers. They are soft and squishable, just right for laying on. Guess who’s on them when the younger human isn’t in them! 

 

 

Photo Credit: S. Craig Here I am, on a boot!
Photo Credit: S. Craig Since this is International Cat Day, and this is my post, here’s another picture of me.

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

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The Abby Chronicles–Watching My Human Exercise

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XXIII

The younger human moves around on the bed before she gets up. She calls this exercising. I exercise when I chase my tail or play with my toys. The younger human doesn’t have a tail to chase, or toys to play with—poor human!—so she exercises instead.

When I first saw her doing this I thought something was wrong. But she does this almost every morning, so nothing is wrong.

She starts by raising one back leg to her chest several times, then the other back leg. She raises her back legs up straight in the air, one leg at a time, several times. She moves her back paws in circles, then to-and-fro, like I do when I’m swishing my tail. Some days she moves her front legs up-and-down, up-and-down in the air. I laugh inside so she doesn’t know I’m laughing, but some days it’s hard not to meow-laugh out loud. It’s so entertaining!

©P. Booher

 

 

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The Abby Chronicles–I Get a New Toy!

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XXII

I wrote here how much I liked playing with my toy that had a stuffed bird on one end. The human held the wand on the other end, and either dragged it along or bounced it. It was a lot of fun pouncing on it.

Well, that toy fell apart and I couldn’t play with it any more. So, I made do by chasing my tail on those odd moments when I wanted to burn off energy. I have a long, fluffy tail, and of course it’s always attached, so I know I won’t lose it. Sometimes I did manage to actually catch my tail, though it didn’t stay caught for long. Sometimes I almost made myself dizzy, too! Then I sat down as dignified as I could be, though it’s hard to be dignified when the humans were laughing so hard.

Yesterday the younger human went away for awhile. When she came home she gave me a new toy! It’s the same kind as the old one. I smelled it; it was definitely new; no other cat had been around it. The human dragged it along on the floor; I chased it and smacked it with my paw, just to let the toy know who’s boss. I am happy to have another toy; I don’t have to rely on my tail anymore!

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

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I’m Glad I’m Not A Celebrity!

I used to work as a cashier at a grocery store. Since I was at the front-end and couldn’t walk too far away from the cash registers, I had a front-row view of the tabloids on the magazine racks alongside the register stands.

From my time gazing at the cover headlines in between ringing up people’s orders, I concluded I’m glad I’m not a celebrity! There’s benefits to being a regular person.

Think of it—I can come and go as I want—no paparazzi shadowing my every move, waiting to snap my picture at an inconvenient time; no one comments on how much weight I’ve gained or lost; no one says about how much weight Abby the cat gained or lost; no one says it’s a scandal that I don’t wash my car more, or that I don’t banish the dandelions from my front yard. No one cares about my income; no one speculates about “what is she going to do now?”. Nobody says I’m strange because I look up in the sky after hearing a strange bird’s call. (Well, someone might, but I wouldn’t hear the person).

I’m glad I’m a regular person! 🙂

 

©P. Booher

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The Abby Chronicles–I Have A New Job!

abby-ready-to-write

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XXI

The younger human has been spending more time sitting on the couch. That’s where she was awhile ago. Knowing her lap is soft and warm I jumped onto her lap. She was talking and listening to a long device. She held one end to her ear and the other end to her mouth.

Sometimes when she was listening she sighed and seemed stressed. The older human asked if she was “on hold” (whatever “on hold” is, I don’t know). The younger human said, “Yes, I’m on hold”. I snuggled up closer to her and nudged her hand with my head. She got the message and started petting my head. I started purring. She made comments about how nice it was to pet me. I noticed her stress level went down (cats notice that kind of thing) as she continued to pet my fur. I realized I gained a new job: help the human stay calm when she’s “on hold”.

I have a lot of jobs—no wonder I need my beauty sleep! 🙂

Abby

©P. Booher, secretary

 

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The Abby Chronicles–Abby Has A Spa Day!

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XX

One day the younger human put my collar and leash on me and put me in the carrier. The older human told me, “You’re going to go to the kitty doctor to get your claws trimmed and mats taken out of your coat.” I thought, “Hmmm—the kitty doctor—I get treats there!”  The day promised to be more exciting. The younger human took me out to the car; she put my carrier on the back seat; and put herself in the front seat. The car said, “Vrooomm!” and off we went.

Once at the vet’s, it was the same weird routine as we’d run into before. You can read about it here if you want: The Abby Chronicles–Abby Goes to the Kitty Doctor–Round III, A Very Strange Visit The younger human talked into a very small box-like thing. She told me she hoped we didn’t have to wait as long as we had to before. Her hopes were answered as two female humans from the vet’s office came out and took me in the carrier. My human told them I liked going there because they gave me treats. One of the females from the vet’s office said, “You’ll get your treats, girlfriend!” A human called me “girlfriend”—can you imagine that! 🙂

Sometime later—I don’t know how long because we cats don’t keep track of time—the humans brought me back out to the car where my human waited. My claws were trimmed; those knotty, uncomfortable-to-lay-on mats were gone. I felt like a new cat! Oh—I had treats, too!

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

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The Abby Chronicles–Abby Goes to the Kitty Doctor–Round III, A Very Strange Visit

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XIX

The younger human took me to the kitty doctor’s one day. It was something different from the regular routine, so I was excited about that.

The younger human put me in the carrier and took me to the car. The car said, “Vroom!” and off we went.

When we got to the vet’s, there was another change in routine. Instead of the younger human getting my carrier out of the car and taking me into the office right away, she sat in the car and talked into a little box. The human kept turning around to me and saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize we’d have to wait.” I could hear a bit of stress in her voice, but I was fine. I’m Abby, and Cool is my middle name. Besides, I was chillin’ in the carrier–literally. Because it was hot, before we left the house the human placed an ice pack on the bottom of the carrier. She covered the pack with an old towel, then put me on the towel. So, I was Good.

After the human talked in the little box some more, two humans came out from the vet’s office. The younger human lifted my carrier out of the car. I thought she would take me into the office, but no, one of the female humans from the vet’s took the carrier. She said something about, “due to the virus” and she would bring me back out when they were done.

Strange, isn’t it?

Anyway, I got my rabies shot and my treats (I really like that vet!) and the vet’s helper brought me out to the car. The younger human set my carrier on the back seat, started the car, the car said, “Vroom!” and we came home. Strange adventure over!

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

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