Category Archives: humor

The Abby Chronicles–Humans Do Weird Things

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XVIII

Have you ever noticed humans do weird, sometimes annoying things? They say cats do weird things. Humph! We cats have reasons behind the weird things we do, so they aren’t really weird. But humans–

I’ll give you an example. I walked into the living room and jumped up onto the older human’s lap. She put little metal things in the fur on her head. I smelled one of the metal things; it didn’t smell like anything I knew of. I wanted to help the human, since she seemed so intent on doing this strange procedure, but the younger human kept her arm in front of me, so I couldn’t help.

I’ll give you another example. The younger human had the nerve to poke me in the stomach! Would you believe that? I raised my paw to warn her that she was not to do that. Would you believe she poked me again! This time I grabbed her finger and put my mouth around it. This time she got the message. Talk about being annoying.

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

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The Abby Chronicles–Abby Has A Complaint

Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XVII

I strolled into the laundry room, intending to use one of my litter boxes. I smelled both of them. Would you believe neither one had been cleaned out?! Major problem!

What gives, humans? Don’t you know I am a cat. I am fastidious! Moreover, I am Abby!

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

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The Abby Chronicles–Weird Things Humans Do

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Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XVI

Have you ever noticed humans do weird things?

For instance, one day I strolled through a room and saw the older human with her back paws in a tub of water. She said she was soaking her feet. Why would you want to deliberately keep your back paws in water for awhile?? You know, I’m a cat and I’m smart, but that’s beyond me.

Later, I walked into another room and saw her with her back paws propped up on a stand. She said she was trimming her toenails. Again, I was perplexed. I mean, to trim my claws I scratch something rough (like the couch—ssh, don’t tell the humans I live with!)

Sometimes the younger human calls me “The Big A”. That I don’t mind. But then she adds, “Wild and hairy”.  “Hairy?” Well, yes, I am “hairy”, or as I prefer, “furry”. I have a medium-length coat, and I’m proud of it, too! I am NOT wild, though! It’s been a long time since I’ve been wild, and I don’t want to go back to those days. Now, I have shelter out of the rain, the wind, and whatever else. No dogs, raccoons, or coyotes live in the house. No cars come in the house, either. I have food, water, and two litter boxes available. I have toys to play with, two humans to answer my beck and meow, and plenty of places to sleep. (Just don’t mention to the younger human that one of those places is the printer beside the computer.  It’ll be our secret, right?)

Oh, I digress. As I said, have you ever noticed humans do weird things? And humans think cats do weird things!

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

 

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The Abby Chronicles–My Humans are Entertainment Directors

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Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XV

We cats are intelligent animals. Any intelligent creature, such as cats, humans, ( and those slobbery, loud creatures known as dogs—ugh!) can become bored. I get bored, and then I get into what the humans I live with call “trouble”. I don’t call it “trouble”; I think of it as “amusing myself”.

Eventually the humans had enough of my antics, so now they are my entertainment directors. One of them brought out a catnip-filled sock, which is good for sniffing, sleeping on, and occasionally kicking vigorously. The other human produced a catnip-filled toy about the size of a mouse. Unlike a real mouse, this toy is tied to a stick. The human takes the stick and jerks it in the air or moves it across the carpet. That’s when the real fun begins. I give the toy some swift paw action, just to let it know who’s boss. I jump up in the air or stand up on my hind paws to swat it. Sometimes I bite it. I pretend not to realize the other end of the stick is held by a human (but as I wrote, we cats are intelligent).

Humm—I just realized something. As the humans are entertaining me, I am entertaining them!

Abby

©P. Booher, secretary

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The Abby Chronicles–My Human Has a Reputation!

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Chapter XIV

I’ve noticed something about the humans I live with:  every time the younger human comes home from work or shopping, the humans sit down and eat something. It doesn’t matter whether it’s in the morning, afternoon, or night, for some reason, they eat! So, I figure, hmmm, if the humans eat when the younger human comes home, I should eat too, right? I mean, I’m the one and only fabulous feline of this house. So, I sit in front of my dish, and eventually, one of the humans feeds me.

The humans laugh and say that the younger human has a reputation–when she comes home, we eat!!

Oh–here she comes through the door now!

P.S. In case anyone gets the wrong idea, I want to say my humans do feed me other times, too.

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

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The Abby Chronicles–Looking Out for My Human

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Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XIII

Saturday the younger human came home from work tired. She was so tired she almost fell asleep before supper.

After supper she went into the living room, gathered up some blankets and laid down on the couch. She put the blankets on and I plopped down across her legs, thinking, “Oh, how nice. We can go to sleep.” Instead the human opened the book she brought with her. I thought, “What! She’s going to read when she needs to sleep!” Walking up to the book, I placed my paw down on the book, moving the page away from my human’s face. She said, “Oh, Abby!” and started reading again. I put my paw down on the book again. This time she got the message, and put the book on the nearby coffee table.

To prevent her from reading anymore, I laid down on my human so my back was up against her throat, thus making it difficult for her to reach the book. I started purring. A short time later I heard her snoring. I smiled as I fell asleep. I’d done my job; my human was getting the sleep she needed.

I include this chapter in my Chronicles because the humans we felines live with occasionally need our help to help themselves. Cats have no problem with realizing when we need to rest and recharge. Humans seem unwilling to admit they need to rest. They want to get more done. What I’ve found out though, is that humans don’t get much more done; they get grouchy instead. So we cats help ourselves and the humans when we help the humans rest.

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

 

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The Abby Chronicles–Send the Human to Work!

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Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter XII

I am a cat, and ordinarily eat canned cat food. I love to eat “people” chicken and “people” tuna–you know, the meat that comes out of cans, like my cat food, but it tastes really good.

The younger human goes to work some days, and most of those days she fixes food to take with her. I don’t get too excited about that, except for those days she opens up canned chicken or tuna people food. Although I don’t see out of one eye well, or hear out of one ear well, there’s nothing wrong with my nose! As soon as I smell that chicken or tuna, I run into the kitchen. Now, mind you, I–Abby, a cat–don’t beg. Begging is for those slobbery, noisy creatures known as dogs. I just sit quietly and look up at her. If she doesn’t give me some of her food right away, I may softly meow. Usually that’s not necessary. She is well-trained and gives me some chicken or tuna right away. Boy, is it good!

Now you know my demand when I haven’t had people chicken or tuna for awhile:

Send the human to work!

Abby

P. Booher, secretary

 

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The Abby Chronicles–Abby Goes to the Kitty Doctor (Round 2)

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Chapter XI

I went to the kitty doctor today. I’ve been sneezing and my humans decided I should go to the vet’s. So my humans put me in the carrier and the carrier and me in the car, the car said, “Vroom!” and off we went.

The vet and her assistant were very nice, particularly since they kept putting treats on the table.  Believe me, I kept eating them, too! They were lip-smacking good! (Last time I wrote about being at the vet’s, I forgot to tell you they gave me treats.) I really like that vet. Continue reading

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The Abby Chronicles–Abby “Guarding” Her Food

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Chapter X

This is Abby’s secretary. I am taking over The Abby Chronicles for today. I sneaked a photo of Abby guarding her food to post.

new-abby-guarding-her-food.jpeg

I’ll make sure NOBODY takes my food!

P. Booher

 

 

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The Abby Chronicles–Abby Goes to the Kitty Doctor

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Here I am, ready to write my story!

Chapter IX

Author’s Note: It’s been awhile since I wrote anything. I told my secretary that needed to change! Further, I told her I wanted to take over her “Friday Photos” spot for this week. She protested, but I told her my posts include a picture of me so that counts. Besides, some Fridays she doesn’t post anything. She mumbled something and agreed. I also told her from now on, I want my name listed below my posts. She protested again, but I pointed out she could put her name below mine.

Continue reading

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