For most of my life I’ve listened to voices in my head. The voices belong to authoritative people from my past. They say things like, “Why do you want to do that?” “Why bother with that?”
It’s likely the questions were designed to help me see I needed to put some more thought into what I was proposing. But the tone in the questions led me to believe the speaker didn’t take me seriously or worse, considered me stupid. I lacked the inner resolve to take the matter any further and didn’t know how to figure out solutions for the problems. I dropped the matter, even though I considered it important.
At this late stage I’m finally learning I have to take the position of: “This (whatever it is) is important to me. It is what I’m going to pay attention to, no matter what you say.” I’m learning no one gives that right to me; I have to take it, and be prepared to stick to it.
Writing is the activity which allowed me to realize this. I believe my desire to write is something God gave me. To other people He gave an enthusiasm for sculpting, or working on cars, or decorating, or any number of endeavors. To me He gave an enthusiasm for writing. It is that thing which makes me say, “This is important to me”.
I decided I can take that example of inner resolve and extend it to other areas. There are places where I need to speak up.
©P. Booher
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